For those of you who don’t know, my little sister and I are 6 years apart (nobody in between, just the 2 of us) As much as sometimes I wish we were closer together in age, I am often truly satisfied with the years we have apart. She makes me feel like a kid and I get to help her grow up, she doesn’t steal my clothes or makeup, and she doesn’t embarrass me at school simply because she is not at my school. The age gap has helped me develop a more marital instinct and has taught her that someone is always there to listen to you even if you don’t wanna tell mom.
We carry each others secrets like the time we broke the small decretive statue in out house or when she cheated on her social studies test because her notes just happen to be on the corner of the desk. Most importantly as much as sometimes we want there to be, there is no competition. We don’t have the same hobbies, never played the same sports, and she is too young to be in realistic competition in grades. Although I know she mumbles in frustration “why is Donatella so smart? Look at me I am Donatella and I get 90’s” (yes i do get 90’s). I always tell her your nine and I am sixteen even if you wanted to be good at english, you can’t be because you don’t know enough yet, and that’s okay, it doesn’t make you stupid.
Over the last year though she has definitely kicked my ass in math (sixteen year old me and 9 year old me). She flew right past me with times tables, fractions, area and perimeter and at that point in my life I couldn’t do that on paper let alone in my head. So every one in a while I always say to her “wow your way better at math then I am, your pronunciation in french is better than mine and look at that you are an amazing cook (by the way she loves cooking and I hate it….I burnt popcorn at fifteen and she can make a grilled cheese sandwich at eight).
But sometimes it has it’s downsides, there are moments in our relationship where it’s like each other doesn’t exist cause we are so busy or we become annoyed with each others immaturity (ie; hers) and bossiness (ie; mine). We forget each others age, she expects me to play with her all the time and I expect her to not leave a disaster every where she goes. Me being sick I am able to spend more time with her and we do more together like spend an hour together each morning, pull pranks on each other and read together at night.
Some say that after 5 years of not having a sibling your and only child, but I disagree with that. My sister and I are able to grow as separate people without fighting for attention or trying to one up each others successes all the time, she doesn’t feel like she has to do exactly what I do or that we are enemies. She looks up to me and in a way I look up to her where as when siblings are closer together they can fight over who’s stronger, better, smarter and it takes them a while to have respect for each other (i have cousins who are close together…..I have noticed the difference). In order for our relationship to be strong we have develop ourselves and then we develop together.
So if you are worried about having kids far apart I hope this eases the concern. Plus you have your own personal babysitter, chef , hairdresser, tutor….it’s like having a second mom or dad. Next time if you meet someone with siblings far apart, don’t feel bad for them because in my opinion it is the best sibling dynamic out there.