Hello everyone, this evening I bring to you a more serious topic about our perception of happiness. I have come to realize that as I get older things that I think should make you happy such as Love, Friends, and Smiley Faces seem to just make me depressed. I mean love is just so confusing and makes you second guess yourself, you put yourself out in such a vulnerable place all for what… a hug…a kiss… to feel important. As people we just hurt each other which only leaves us to put up walls and not let each other in, but yet we complain we are not happy. We are taught when we are little that happiness comes from object and places such as carnivals and cotton candy but we learn the hard way, in high school that the feeling slowly fades and that it becomes so unfamiliar, it almost seems like we have never felt it. And the feeling that replaces it would be emptiness and a depressed. I used to think that I would have awesome friends like the Bratz Girls and I would be happy, but chasing after that dream only makes me realize it’s basically impossible. Lately, my friends have been causing more trouble for me then happiness and I am starting to loose faith that I can ever be really happy.
Someone told me that if you feel depressed or unhappy, then think a time that you felt genuinely good in that moment, so I thought….It was the day my dad surprised me with tickets to the circus and I remember watching the elephants walk around with dancers on their backs, I looked over at my dad with a huge smile and he asked if i was happy, and I said “of course I am, i’m at the circus. ” Sometimes i wish I could go back to the circus and restore my faith in happiness. So my question is, does happiness exist. It probably does but maybe not right now, maybe not right here, or maybe I am looking for it in the wrong place but right now my most evident feeling is tiredness…
Tired of feeling nothing, not even happiness.